Home Sweet Homeless?

So you haven't decided on a place yet? You should probably get on top of that. Let me tell you about the university married housing.

Cinder Block Walls

Nothing screams home more than a place set up like the projects. Thick walls keep your place insulated from weather and sound. And the hundreds of coats of white painted on the walls absorb 50 years of abuse by nails and children so that there is no difference from the day it was built

Bathroom

The invention of a duel fan/light combo makes your bathroom experience so much more pleasurable. Coziness is equally as pleasurable as you have room for only 1.3 people in a durable bathtub and a low shower head. A reason, to me, that keeps divorce rate so low in "the courts."

Closet Space

With the ample room of closet space, you will be able to fit all those things that you stored in your one dresser from home. Your spouse will be left to her own devices as she figures where she will then put all of her clothes that she only wears once a year.

Free Air Conditioning

Just like a fresh breeze from the coast, the married housing is equipped with air conditioning units for your stay. But like a breeze, it can bring in those beautiful smells of your neighbor's fish dinner through the shared ventilation.

Courtyard

newly imported grills from the 70's make meeting your poor neighbors so easy. Just fire up some hot coals and cook some of those left-overs. The kids will come running!

N'Sync or P.Diddy?

Life is full of simple choices. Boxers or briefs? Regular or supersize? Band or DJ? Unfortunately, they can have some complicated outcomes. Boxers can chafe, while briefs can constrict. Regular size may leave you hungry, while supersize may leave you sick. And a band or a dj... well, lets find out.



Band
Pros
• Can cater to certain themes you may be trying to pull off.
• The right band can read the feel of the room and adjust tempo to get everyone out on the dance floor.
• Nothing beats live music.

Cons
• Typically more expensive than a DJ.
• Bands often only know a limited number of songs.
• Certain bands only have expertise in one particular style of music.
• When the band goes on break (usually once every two hours), the mood can suffer.
• The possibility of your favorite song being butchered on your wedding day.
• All of the band members will need to be served dinner (which can take a chunk out of the budget).

DJ
Pros
• Requested songs are the real thing, not sung by an imitator.
• Larger song selection than a band.
• Less chance of hearing songs you don’t know.
• A DJ with the right balance of seriousness and humor can be really entertaining. While music is playing, he can be out on the dance floor, getting everyone fired up.
• Traditionally cheaper than a band.
• No breaks in the music.

Cons
• The ham-it-up factor: a non-funny, loud, and obnoxious DJ can be a turnoff to guests.
• The chance of equipment failure.

A Poor Man's Entertainment Option = Both?
Having both is becoming a popular thing nowadays - and you don't have to break open the piggy bank to do it. With the option of a laptop with a playing device and a PA system (most wedding sites have them so you can make a toast or something), you can just plug and chug. And to make it more memorable - get one of your buddies to sing a song to you with your friends.

If you'd like to hire P. Diddy, though, he might be available...

Don't Lose It

Beyonce once said, "If you like it, put a ring on it." Well, if you are looking at this site, most likely you've done that or plan on doing that. The real trick is, however, keeping that ring on that finger. Now, I'm not talking about marriage counseling. What I'm talking about is the fitting.


We've all heard the horror stories (dropped down the drain, accidentally thrown away, etc) but just a couple of weeks ago, a lady lost her wedding ring as she was passing out candy to trick-or-treaters. According to Fox News, the lady stated:

"I had it enlarged, and then when it got cold you know your fingers get smaller, and I noticed that it was spinning around more than it had been before, but I didn't realize that it would slip off"

You don't want to make the same mistakes, so here are some suggestions for you:

• Have your ring sized properly. most rings come in 'whole' sizes (5,6,7,etc) but can actually be sized to you exactly. (For example, 7.25.)
• For rings that slide over because they are 'top heavy' can be 'squared off' on the bottom. This is an amazing adjustment. Your big ring will stay in place perfectly.
• Don't wear your ring to the beach or other places that it could slip off due to wetness.
• Buy a metal detector. (You can't anticipate everything.)

On the other hand, that is one great treat from some kid! Take that sucker to the pawn shop and invest it, and he'll be set for atleat one semester of college... hopefully.

When not to Hyphenate

Whats the point of hyphenating your last name? Last week I found out that one of my friends is going to keep her last name because it sounded more sophisticated than her fiance's. I thought that was crazy.

Here are some examples that prove my point why hyphenated names aren't a good idea:

Jay Leno has featured these on his "headlines" segment on monday night. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that they didn't probably hyphenate their names after marriage. However, I think they prove how ridiculous hyphenated names can be.

Take, for example, a child who has inheritted a hyphenated name due to his mom wanting to keep hers. Lets say the hyphenated name became something like Drexheimer-Cornelius. That just takes way too long to say. And what if the boy's name was something like Xavier? That's a mouth full. There would be no name on the back of that kid's jersey...